Sometimes the unfortunate truth has to be told. And I have been assigned to tell it to the clueless project manager of the project to which I am currently assigned. You’ll recall, if you had a chance to read one of my earlier blog installments, that he is from the “just-post-something-on-the-intranet-twice-a-week-no-matter-what-it-is” school of communication (a fine school where they apparently hand out Ph.D.s in public communication theory and practice just because you know how to find a word-processing program on a personal computer).

In an upcoming meeting, I will have to tell him that the dumping-twice-monthly-and-running practice will not work. I even have the backing of my management on this. In trying to figure out how to drop this happy bomb, it got me musing on communication metrics and measurement (which is more important to this project manager than the actual communication). There are a few things that are always true about measuring what we do. Here they are:

• High output does not equal effectiveness. Or put another way: Just because you throw a lot of communication out there doesn’t mean anyone is more engaged or more productive.
• Effective communication initiatives will be nine parts effort and one part measurement at most. Ineffective communication initiatives will be one part effort and nine parts measurement or more. This will confuse your management, because they confuse metrics collection with actual work.
• The more you measure, the less time you will have to do the things you’re supposed to measure. Remember that before you recommend a very complex measurement plan.
• It's not 80:20, it's 80:10:10. Generally speaking, 10 percent of your population will be happy with whatever you do. Ten percent of your population will be unhappy with whatever you do. The rest are busy doing work.
• The more valuable you think a communication initiative is, the more time you will have to spend convincing your management to do it.
• Metrics will surprise you. The one thing you think is the silliest, most useless thing you do just may have the highest readership.
• Numbers can lie, or at least be misleading. If something doesn’t seem right to you, it probably isn’t. Go out there and ask people what they think and why.
• Communication is an art, not a science. So there are some things you cannot measure, no matter how much someone wants you to.
• No matter how much you rely on metrics, your intuition is an essential guide to getting things right. Ignore your gut instincts at your peril. 

And last, but not least (or not measurably least):

• Most of us didn’t major in statistical analysis in college. That doesn’t mean we can ignore measurement completely. You do have to figure out how to do some measurement, if only to keep your management happy. So you may as well try to do a reasonable job of it. An unexpected benefit: It may give you another way of finding out whether what you’re doing makes sense.

You, my colleagues in communication, will be thrilled to learn that everything you thought about communication is wrong. So says the project manager of the project I'm assigned to.

Although he is not a communicator, he is apparently an expert in communication. My communication plan, which I'd hoped to build on key messages and perhaps base on actual project events and audience needs, will not be necessary. Nope, don't need none of that consulting stuff, says he. Just publish something twice a month. Write up whatever it is and stick in on the intranet.

Well. Ca y est, as the French say. The secret of excellent communication has been revealed to me, albeit through a medium I never would have expected. And it's so simple that even someone too dumb to be a project manager -- say someone like a communicator -- could do it! Just slap some stuff up on whatever web vehicle you have every couple weeks and you've done all you need to.

What a revelation. Had I but known the secret to excellent communication was “do it twice a month,” I could have saved those long years in journalism school and shone like a star in the early years of my career. No more writing communication plans! No more sweating it out over web stats! No more painful sessions of coaching reluctant execs to speak plainly and clearly! If only I had learned this secret early on, I would probably be the VP of Communications right now, or even the CEO.

Still, the concept was so shocking that I actually took a moment to ask Mr. Project Manager a few questions about it. I'll share his answers with you, because they proved so very instructive:

Me: So, just to be crystal clear, you want me to write something and publish it on the intranet every other week?

Mr. PM: Well, yeah.

Me: What if employees don't read it?

Mr. PM: That's not our problem. We told them.

Me: I think we need to consider some face-to-face meetings and some manager talking points. Our metrics show that employees need us to do more than post to the intranet.

Mr. PM: We promised in our project plan that we're going to do communication.

Me: That's exactly what I'm suggesting.

Mr. PM: The project plan says we will publish something on the intranet twice a week.

Me: I can do that, and I'd also like to do a few other communication initiatives in support of the project objectives.

Mr. PM: That's not what the project plan calls for.

Et voila. I was convinced. How could I argue with logic like that?

I intend to put "the secret" into practice immediately on this very project. The only regret I have is that by sharing this secret with you, I've put my dear friends at Ragan, IABC, PRSA, the Conference Board, and Melcrum, as well as assorted communications pundits, out of business. Because why will you need their thoughtful sites and seminars now that you have the real secret of excellent communication?

More next week. No, make that more in two weeks.